Story Menu
The 11 stories are readily “mixed and matched” to audience needs, length of show, and venue. For example, Jeff performed an 80-minute set at Canada’s National Arts Centre 4th Stage in 2014, then returned to the same venue in 2016 and performed a 120-minute set of totally different stories. Both performances were sell-outs. In 2017 he performed a 90-minute set for 475 international outdoor enthusiasts at the Wilderness & Canoe Symposium in Toronto, Canada.
LIKE NETFLIX: BUT LIVE! Jeff’s stories are uniquely suited to “extended duration audiences”: guests on a cruise ship; guests at a lodge or resort; listeners to a serialized radio show or podcast. For such audiences Jeff can perform a new story (or two) each day/episode. Listeners enjoy the pleasure of a recurring cast of characters and an extended story arc.
Jeff travels light. He performs with just a wireless headset mic. No costumes, no props, no special effects, no support cast. Jeff performs in intimate venues and in large auditoriums. Jeff’s stories, though “laugh out loud” funny, are laced with moments of tenderness and insight. They are appropriate for adult and mature teen audiences.
BELOW IS A LIST OF “PERFORMANCE-READY” STORIES, INCLUDING SHORT DESCRIPTIONS AND (SOMETIMES) LIVE VIDEO FROM RECENT SHOWS! Create your own unique HOW TO MAKE LOVE IN A CANOE set list.
OUTDOOR EDUCATION
13-year-old Jeff, on a co-ed canoe trip, suspects that “some couple are doing some things” underneath the canoes each evening, after dark. Hilarity follows as Jeff and his friends hatch a plot to catch the offending couple in the act. This story captures the joy, the innocence, and the wonder of being 13!
TIM MUG
Jeff’s mom worked all winter to prepare delicious “one mug meals” for the family’s first ever canoe trip. But Jeff’s mom forgot that kids on a canoe trip burn through more calories than do kids in the city. Sibling relationships are stretched to the comic limit as Jeff, his kid sister and little brother compete fiercely for every available scrap of food. If you grew up with siblings, you’ll love this story.
BOTICELLI’S VENUS
Jeff’s family find themselves on the same canoe route as a family from Germany. “International relations” improve instantly for 15-year-old Jeff when he discovers that the German daughter enjoys her swim each evening … in the nude. Eager to watch the evening bathing show, but worried about his parents’ response, Jeff negotiates with his siblings to create “parental distractions” every evening of the trip. In this delightful coming of age tale, Jeff never suspects the truth – that his parents are in on the act.
DEAD MAN’S RAPID
A 17 year-old Leader-in-Training, Jeff is thrust into adulthood when the trip leader disappears – on the treacherous portage around Dead Man’s Rapids. Jeff finds himself with one book of matches, two pounds of prunes and four frightened 13-year-old boys. “All’s well that ends well” in this sometimes comic, sometimes frightening paddling adventure in Canada’s north.
THE ONE
Adult Jeff considers marriage. “But how can I be sure she’s the one?” he asks his father. “Take her on a canoe trip” Jeff’s dad replies “you’ll learn about her real quick.” But when Jeff forgets the food at home, and then when it pours rain every day, the real question becomes: “who is learning about who”? Audiences consistently adore this heartwarming and hilarious romantic comedy.
BABES IN THE WOODS
Jeff and Jennifer are deep in pristine wilderness when they paddle into a shocking act of eco-terrorism. Jeff argues that the perpetrators have heroically saved an ancient old-growth forest. Jennifer counters that they have destroyed private property and killed jobs. Soon an idyllic canoe trip turns into an animated marital conversation on environmental activism. This even-handed, thought-provoking, but still wonderfully funny story always generates passionate audience response.
MY GENERAL GUIDING PRINCIPLE
Deep in the remote wilderness, Jennifer suggests to Jeff some “quality couple time” on a smooth rock down by the shore. And that’s when the motorboat – and two very “sketchy” men – arrive! Caught with his pants down and his adrenaline up, this tale comically exposes what happens to Jeff (and to most of us men) when our alpha-male instincts go into overdrive.
FISHING WITH GRANDPA
Grandma and Grandpa join Jeff, Jennifer and their young sons on a fishing trip. But the fish refuse to bite! Until Grandpa produces a “magic” fishing lure – and Grandma creates culinary magic. Parents – especially grandparents – always smile (and sometimes shed a happy tear) in this heartwarming celebration of family.
MARITAL THERAPY
Jeff proposes bringing a self-help book – “Five Simple Steps to Save Your Marriage” – on he and Jennifer’s upcoming canoe trip. Jennifer informs Jeff that the marriage does not require “saving”, but agrees to bring the book along anyway. Newlyweds and long-married couples alike nod knowingly and laugh out loud as Jennifer and Jeff attempt to apply the self-help book’s “five simple steps”, in a remote wilderness setting.
CAFFEINE QUEST
Jeff’s caffeine addiction crashes headlong into his adult hipster sons’ Starbucks snobbery on a canoe trip that soon devolves into a comic quest to “brew a decent cuppa Joe” in the woods.
THE LAST RAPID
Jeff is full of high hopes for “just the two of us” father-son time when he paddles into the wilderness with his aging father. And the trip is magical, until the hard realities of age and diminished ability confront both father and son. Audiences laugh, cry, then ultimately find joy in this bittersweet but universal tale.